If your marriage is struggling to provide an emotionally safe or fulfilling relationship and you have called around to a few recommended marriage counselors in your area, you might have experienced sticker shock over the cost. After doing the math, you probably realized the months of therapy you need amount to a nice chunk of change, and you might be wondering, is it really worth it? 

Most coaches and therapists choose to attain additional training in a particular method of couples’ counseling. It is recommended that you ask about these credentials when choosing a marriage counselor. Marriage coaches are highly educated and highly skilled, and their expertise is not, and should not be, inexpensive. 

Insurance does not Cover Marriage Therapy or Coaching

Marriage coaching and therapy does not have a billable diagnostic code for insurance.  He or she may be a general therapist and not have specialized training to work with couples. Coaches ethically wish to avoid labeling one of you when the problem being treated is a relational issue.

Marriage Counseling Takes Longer Than Individual Therapy

Relationship dynamics are complex. Working with both of you as a couple takes more time than individual therapy.  The assessment process alone can take almost four sessions. You also may have waited too long to get help and the problems can be bigger and more complicated by the time you finally make the call to find a coach or therapist.

Marriage Coaches or Counselors Have a Hard Time With the “50 minute hour” 

The most effective couples’ session seems to be around 60 – 90 minutes.  Things are usually at a  pivotal time around 50 – 60 minutes, and stopping at this point is a challenge.  It is best to tie up loose ends as much as possible in each session and this often requires additional time with two people than it does with one.

Are There any Other Options?

Remember, marriage coaching and therapy will always cost less than a divorce.  If you are financially struggling, you may be able to find a “sliding fee” coach or therapist. 

A couples workshop or group is also often an option. Reading highly recommended self-help books together can also be beneficial. This may only work for couples with minor issues. Doing a workshop and reading self-help books can also possibly assist in shortening the time you need to be in marriage therapy. 

Although marriage therapy can be costly, it is worth it. If you are not sure that it is right for you and your spouse or significant other, you both can always commit to an initial visit or trying “discernment coaching" to explore if counseling is a good option for your relationship. Making the effort to find the best help you can afford or budgeting your money for this service is a great idea.  When you commit to coaching or counseling, give it your full, sincere effort and you will find it was a smart investment in your marriage.