A marriage counselor, therapist or coach an help your marriage heal, so call The Path To Well-Being today located near Manassas, Woodbridge, Haymarket and Gainesville for a free mini consult at 703-382-6871.
Yesterday, I was helping a couple talk about the benefits of emotional focus in relationships. The couple used words that made me question how many partners in relationships wonder what it would take to get their partner to focus on them? If you don’t focus on the love of your life, eventually they die. If you don’t focus on the kids, sooner or later they going to leave you high and dry along the side of the road. If you never pay attention to the family, you can expect trouble in the very near future.
But for some reason, we have the expectation that we can live in the same house with someone else and things should just keep moving in a positive direction. If you don’t intentionally focus on your spouse and the things that are important to them, at least some of the time, they are going to put all your stuff in the box to move out.
Couples should talk about intentionally focusing on what makes them happy, what makes them feel loved. We sometimes find a marriage counselor or therapist that makes it easier to focus when action steps are there and dates on the calendar – birthdays, holidays and anniversaries – but what about all the time in between these special occasions?
There’s an weave that happens in even the closest relationships.
A marriage counselor, therapist or coach an help your marriage heal, so call The Path To Well-Being today located near Manassas, Woodbridge, Haymarket and Gainesville for a free mini consult at 703-382-6871.
We start off really focused on our lover. We need to do that to get them focused on us, right? Things are urgent in the early stage years.
Life shows up and a bunch of urgent stuff that we need to get done as quickly as possible. Focusing on our lover is still important to us; however, it’s just not as important and forgotten, they feel invisible. We love our partner, showing them they are urgent, so we start that process all over again.
We all go through this constant cycle because life happens. It’s when it becomes a habit and your lover always feels on the back burner that it becomes a problem. So, how do you break the cycle and start to put more focus on your lover? Consider these questions -
Do you have an intentional program/process to impress your lover?
Do you go out of your way to intentionally try to touch their heart and needs on a regular basis?
Do you make plans to surprise them on a regular basis with love?
A marriage counselor, therapist or coach an help your marriage heal, so call The Path To Well-Being today located near Manassas, Woodbridge, Haymarket and Gainesville for a free mini consult at 703-382-6871.
Determine what exactly ‘focus’ means to you. Read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman for ideas. Does focusing on her mean having a weekly scheduled date night? Could you focus on him daily by snuggling up on the couch before bed to talk about the day? Maybe focusing on her means listening more and focusing on him means letting him teach you about his newest project in his life?
Schedule that intentional appointment. Put it on a calendar. That makes it ‘urgent ’ Plan those date nights and block off time that’s about just the two of you – put it on your calendar.
Keep track of your partner’s needs, new interests, wants, likes, etc. Take note of what she’s been talking about a lot lately and what he’s interested in. Try new things make it magic!
If you try something he or she loves, do it again and keep it going.
A marriage counselor, therapist or coach an help your marriage heal, so call The Path To Well-Being today located near Manassas, Woodbridge, Haymarket and Gainesville for a free mini consult at 703-382-6871.